The Old Reliables

June 29th, 2009 § 5

My job has, dishearteningly but not surprisingly, resulted in a closet full of business casual outfits; even my going-out clothes seem to have that distinct safe-for-the-office feel. But what my wardrobe lacks in flash (everything) it more than makes up in Ann Taylor synthetics perfectly suited for sitting at a desk or sorting the mail in completely unstaged photographs. It’s predictable, machine-washable, and inoffensive if you don’t mind cardigans.

Gold star for anyone who senses a segue into food metaphor!

Judging from the lengthy editorializing on the subject in my collection of celebrity-authored cookbooks, everyone should have a repository of staples, a safety net of dishes to which you can turn time and time again. The authors, naturally, make this sound like a good thing, the culinary equivalent of a little black dress, not those gray pants I wore twice last week. Let’s take a look, shall we?

Green salad
I’d feel weird making a dinner that didn’t include something green. Nine times out of ten, this is it. But last night we had sugar snap peas and the earth kept right on spinning.

Pasta
Where to begin? No one’s excited to see this on the menu except in its more complicated forms – macaroni and cheese, stuffed shells, lasagna, spaghetti pie…unfortunately, it’s linguini and jarred sauce that fills my menu gaps.

Chicken
I don’t like making chicken since it seems to require endless hand/cutting-board/utensil-washings with hot soapy water (not that I don’t apply this degree of sanitation to all food preparation!). The advantage that can’t be overlooked: everyone (except the difficult vegetarian sister) eats it.

Couscous
I only discovered this about a year ago, and I wish it’d been much earlier. It’s so easy! I’ve heard that couscous is fluffier when steamed instead of dumped into a pot of boiling water, but I guess I’ll never know for sure.

Pork Tenderloin
As versatile as chicken, but I’m not so crazily anxious about undercooking it. Strangely enough, this means it’s always overcooked. Looks super awesome on the grill, though!

It’s a fair start. But lest complacency get the better of me (ha!), I might start allocating some of my limited creative capital to dinner by taking “one recipe and then using it to champion a whole set of different meals.” Jamie Oliver, that sounds really lovely; it also sounds a lot like accessorizing, which, as my mother and sister might point out, is not a part of my skill set. But with a little time and ingenious reworking, my basics will surely “delight everyone at the table.” (Would that it were so, Ina!)

The Players

June 5th, 2009 § 2

Because this is not a creative writing assignment, I am going to tell, not show. Also, list-making is my favorite thing ever.

The Mains

Mom
Spent 20 years shopping and cooking for ungrateful children and is, shockingly, over it. Her preferences on the domestic front now involve antique silverware and outfitting my sister’s apartment – 2000 miles away – via Craigslist and text messages. Instrumental in keeping my vegetable garden alive. Ventures into the kitchen to make hummingbird nectar and cocktails.

Dad
Bless him, will eat almost anything, including long-forgotten leftovers that could be classified rightfully as carrion. (Let this be no reflection on the state of my refrigerator.) He can light a charcoal barbeque with no special equipment and carve a turkey consulting neither a manual nor Food Network video. Was an Eagle Scout, needless to say.

Sister
Lives in Chicago but has just arrived for a two-week stay. Vegetarian, anesthesiologist, adorable, morally superior to me in almost every way. I say “almost” as she loves soy bacon, which is disgusting and undoubtedly a strike against her where heaven is concerned. Will drag out, set up, and clean the food processor rather than just chop the onion already.

Brother
In college, mechanical engineering. Can make many useful things, none of which is dinner. He is called into action when a roux is necessary; understands fat-flour-liquid ratios and their relevant applications as well as any Southern grandmother. His criticism of my meals is both unwaveringly enthusiastic and willfully vague.

The Support

Cats
Five. Pickier than they have any right to be. Incompetent hunters who once half-killed a bird (it must have been a group effort) and had no idea how to finish it off. Prefer buttered ribeye from free-range, already-dead cows.

Spoiled Backyard Squirrels
No exact headcount, but I’m surprised we haven’t reached locust-level infestation since the quality and regularity of their meals (fancy nuts hand-delivered to their feeders twice a day) is, on the whole, much better than my own.

Friends, Boyfriends, Girlfriends
Their eating habits and dietary eccentricities will be (lovingly!) disclosed once they agree that this blog will alter the dominant cultural paradigm/further their careers/not embarrass them. As such, I may never get to speak of them again.

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